The Death Penalty Perspective

Welcome to "The Death Penalty Perspective"

Posted on the web 2-15-1998
  12-01-2007  10:45 A.M.  Central Time Zone

On June 13, 1983 my only sibling, met her demise in what was known as the "Pick Ax Murder". This is a well known and highly publicized case that happened here in Houston, Texas. My sister's name and image is not shown here due to requests from a certain family member.

I received the news from my natural father on the 13th that my sister was brutally murdered. At that time I was twenty-seven years old. I was living a lifestyle that to many would be unacceptable. I was heavily involved in drugs and alcohol and had no respect for other people. When I learned how my sister was murdered along with an acquaintance of hers I was immediately filled with bitter hatred for the parties involved which brought about the deaths of two people.

I did not attend the trials of the defendants that were charged in this case. I was asked to appear in the courtroom when they sentenced Daniel Ryan Garret to death. I plainly remember how the gentleman who was handling the case for the State of Texas told me that they had got the death penalty that day. He then asked "Was this what you want"? I in turn replied that I thought they got what they deserved. To the best of my knowledge both defendants were tried and convicted in the winter of 1983, or the early spring of 1984. Through that entire ordeal I kept watching these people that had murdered my sister and wondered how anybody could do such a horrible thing. I also must state that the hatred that I had as stated earlier was continuing to grow even though I knew that they would die for what they did. I continued to follow the lifestyle of drugs and alcohol trying to drown out the pain that I had for my sister being gone and also to drown out my conscience which  kept telling me that I was wrong. I knew in essence that two wrongs do not make a right and by hating them like I did made me no better than them. I know that if I had a chance that I would have killed them myself. I have fully reviewed the transcripts and the evidence, including all of the photographs of the crime scene. I am well aware of what happened that night.

Just to keep the record straight my natural father William Gerald List was also murdered in October of 1984. He was shot to death with a shotgun at close range. There again I could not believe what was happening and I kept sinking deeper and deeper into despair and a feeling of worthlessness.

This behavior pattern went on until about 1990. A good friend of mine who was also my dealer gave me something that had belonged to my natural father. Incidentally I was adopted along with my sister when I was five years old. That is why the last name is different from my father's name. That something was a bible that had belonged to my father. I started to read that bible. I read that bible for about six months; I was doing great until I learned how Christ had been crucified. When I read that I said to myself, "I cannot believe it, they even killed God". I closed that bible and did not read it again for at least thirty days. Through all of this I still had this pain eating away at me and the hatred continuing to build. When I did pick up that bible and started to read again I completed the gospel. I had learned how Christ died for our sins and how he has risen from the dead and went to be with the Father.

One night I had reached a point in my life where I was ready to kill myself. I had considered this for some time and was at a point of commitment. I got down on my knees and I asked the Lord to take over my life, that I could not deal with all of this any more. To be frank I was at the end of my rope! I accepted the Lord as my savior and I asked him to take the pain away from me and to replace the hatred with love and compassion. I firmly believe to this very minute that God himself honored that prayer. I also asked Him to help me to get out the terrible lifestyle that I was leading. I believe I got saved in the early spring of 1990.

Soon after that I had the desire to contact the people that had destroyed what little family I had. I did not know how to do it. I just knew that I had to make peace with them. I was told by the prison system that I would have to write to the prisoners and tell them that I wanted to visit them. Because of pride, I would not write to these people, even though the Holy Spirit commanded me to do it. I continued to resist it until an opportunity arose in 1992 to visit Karla Faye Tucker at the Harris County Jail one night. She was in town for an evidentiary hearing on her case. A man who knew me kept telling me about her so called religious conversion and that he doubted her sincerity. I myself doubted it also. Nevertheless I went down to the jail and requested to see Karla that night. I was allowed to see her for about fifteen minutes. She did not know who I was or why I had come to see her. When I told her who I was she immediately began to sob and she hid her face. She was definitely ashamed of what she had done. I interrupted her and told her "Karla, whatever comes out of this I just want you to know that I forgive you and that I don't hold anything against you". Immediately at that point I felt like a great and powerful weight or burden had been lifted off of my shoulders. I gave her my address and my phone number and told her that I wanted to keep in touch with her. Within a short while I wrote to Daniel Ryan Garret who was Karla's codefendant and told him the same thing. I never did hear from Danny. He passed away in 1993 from liver disease in prison. I did receive a very warm letter from Danny's attorney in which he said that Danny had received my letter. Danny said that he was pleased to know that there are people like me out there and that it was his fault that he did not contact me. I think he simply ran out of time. Furthermore I also wrote to the man who shot my father and told him the same thing. I did get to visit with him for a short time however; I am not sure if he really believes me, or if he thinks I am just nuts. I still pray for him.

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