This is the Hash
Congratulations! You've made your first step in becoming a hasher and now you want to know more. Well legend has it that in 1938 halfway around the world in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, a man named A.S. Gespart or "G" as he is known in the hashing world, was bored. Bored of simply drinking all day and hanging out in the Hash House (British slang for the Army Mess Hall or any old drinking hole). So he gathered a group of friends to play the English children's game of Hares and Hounds, and to make it more fun he brought a bathtub of beer along. Thus hashing was born.
It took awhile to catch on, but soon hashes were formed in Singapore, in 1962 and Brunei, in 1963. For some strange reason all of the early hashes were MALE ONLY, in 1966 the women retaliated and formed the Brunei Hen House Harriers. At last, women were involved. The first U.S. hash was formed in Fort Eustis, in 1971 followed by Little Rock in 1974 and Washington DC in 1978, then came Houston.
Houston's History
The Houston Hash House Harriers were founded on Monday, May 21, 1979 by ex-Washington DC H3 member, Jay "Captain Lewd" Gore. Captain Lewd also founded Philadelphia H3 in 1977 and Pittsburgh H3 in 1980. Similar to Philly and Pittsburgh, Houston started with employees and friends of Arthur Anderson, Inc., Brown & Root, Inc. and local rugby teams.
Captain Lewd guided us for a short 5 months, but that's okay, we had plenty of influence in transplanted hashers from Singapore, Kuala Lumpur and Jakarta. These hashers brought us the songs, traditions and the spirit of hashing. some of the hashers that started the hash are still around: Doctor Strange Hash (run 1), Geek (run 2), Puber (run 5), Keezer the Sleezer (run 47), Great Kahuna (run 50) and Drummer(run 53).
Hash Marks
The On Mark -- This mark or plop of flour is the most important element of the hash (OK, second. Beer is first.) This mark means that you are on trail and that you should continue in the direction that you are going. Remember, when you see this mark, yell "ON ON" or blow your whistle. Those behind you and the hopelessly lost will thank you.
Check -- When you see this mark, yell "CHECK", this will signal the wankers to stop while the FRB's look for trail. Just kidding, this mark signifies that the direction of trail could possibly change and that you should start looking for the next mark. Of course, that next mark could be anywhere within 100 yards of the check in any direction. When you find the next mark and the following marks be sure to yell "ON ON". When following a trail from a check, one of the following will happen: You will find an "F" on trail, yell "False Trail" and return to the check to begin looking again. (Hint: It's sometimes fun to sit on a false and wait for the wankers to follow before you yell false.) You may also find another check, this means that you are on true trail but once again trail branches. Or an Austin favorite and gaining popularity in Houston (especially during Cock & Balls) the "Blow Job". On a blow job, trail starts again but only 2-3 marks are laid and then nothing, it's basically a false with no "F".
Back Check -- The back check in much like a check, but it means that trail will not be going forward anymore. The true trail starts again in some new direction somewhere between the back check and the last check. Note: There can be any number of false trails and blow jobs between a back check and the previous check. Most FRB's hate back checks, because suddenly they are in the back of the pack. Back checks are great for bringing the pack back together.
Hash Terms
| Accusation | Any transgression, before, during or after the hash should be brought to the religious advisor's attention and presented before the hash for a down down. Accusations can and often do backfire but don't be afraid, get out in the circle and embarrass a friend. |
| Are You? | One of the most common phrases uttered when hashing. Yell "Are You?", when you are lost and cannot find trail. A good hasher always answers. It's also a good way to find hashers in a crowd, at an airport, in a seedy adult film store, etc. |
| Back Check | The FRB's nightmare, a back check means that trail has just ended and somewhere behind you the trail continues. (See hash marks). FRB's hate these since they have to make up ground to try to "win" the hash. |
| Blow Job | 1. Trail off of a check that ends without an "F". (see hash marks). 2. A wonderful thing (see hash bimbos) 3. A way to pickup extra change. |
| Butt Chug | A disgusting rite that you have no business asking about. But, ask any hasher and they'll tell you of the legend and might even show you glossy color photos with arrows and circles marking the juicy spots. |
| Check | An "X" marked on trail that signifies that the trail is possibly changing directions and that new trail starts within 100 yards. (see hash signs) Also, a good play to rest while the FRB's search for trail. Remember that a great check yell is something to be proud of in the hash. |
| Circle Up | This is the call to the down down circle, when you hear this look for the Religious Advisor and make a circle around him. In certain parts of Montrose this entails a group of naked men getting together for a totally different purpose. Extra caution should be taken when hashing in this area. |
| Co-Hare | When more than one hasher is the hare for the trail, they call each other co-hares. Usually they use the term when they try to blame trail mistakes on each other. (The co-hare was supposed to get the beer. The co-hare has the bags. The co-hare laid that part of trail.) |
| DFL | Dead Fucking Last. Usually anyone who arrives at the On On after Geek. |
| Down Down | The ceremony of immaculate consumption involving the imbibing of the liquid manifestation of God. (see holy fluid) The down down is of religious importance and must be performed in one of three consecrated manners. Drinking, pouring on head, or pouring in shorts. Down downs are administered for various Hash transgressions or just for the hell of it. Remember, the decision of the circle is always final. |
| Erections | 1. Yearly elections held to appoint the new mismanagement. 2. The things least often produced by male hashers after an extended hash weekend. (see Holy Fluid) |
| False Trail | A false trail is a trail from a check that ends in an "F". Most hashers hate these and you can hear many colorful metaphors associated with these on trail. (see hash signs) |
| Flour | Ordinary baking flour used to mark hash trail. |
| FRB | Front running bastard. Not necessarily the fastest hasher, probably the thirstiest. Usually drinks down downs for bragging and/or racing. |
| H4 | Short for Houston Hash House Harriers |
| Hare | The hare is the person who lays the trail. Each week, there is a new group of hares and it's totally voluntary. The hare is responsible for laying the trail, moving shag bags, providing the beer/snacks and choosing the on on on. Never ridicule a hare until you've been one yourself. We always need hares. (see Geek) |
| Hash Bimbo | Affectionate term for hash women. |
| Hash Cash | The people who collect the money for the hash. Also, the 5 dollars you pay to participate in the hash. One dollar of this money is added to the Hash treasury for Christmas parties and annual runs. The rest of the money is used to pay for the beer and the food at each hash. |
| Hash Line | The number (713-957-HASH or 713-968-9053) you call to get the most current information about runs and hash events. Warning: Don't be alarmed by any rambling or incoherent utterences. |
| Hash Name | A name or endearment that will be given to you after you've done something stupid or memorable. This name will stick with you for the rest of your hash life and you probably won't like it. At least not at first. |
| Hash Trash | Hash trash is the weekly retelling of events from the previous hash in some sort of newsletter format. Many people find writing these a heinous duty, if you like to write and want to participate talk to one of your on-secs. |
| Holy Fluid | Beer, lots of it. Especially during extended hash weekends. |
| Interhash | Any hash event that joins multiple hashes, usually State, Country and World Wide, with purpose to partake in hashing, beer drinking and other hedonistic activities. |
| Izzy Dizzy | A silly game that involves drinking beer, spinning about a baseball bat and tossing your cookies as fellow hashers goad you on. |
| Joint Master | In Houston, we have two Joint Masters. The Joint Masters are the primary leaders of the hash and should be treated with great respect, be sure to buy them beers at every opportunity. By the way, the person who wrote this is not a Joint Master, really! |
| Live Hare | Every once in a while, a hare decides to lay a trail live. This means that the hare lay trail with only a 5 - 15 minute head start. Everyone loves a live hare run, since the goals is to catch the hare and de-pant them before they make to the end. |
| Looking | Like checking, yell "Looking" when someone yells "Are You" and you have temporarily lost trail. If you are not on trail at all, simply say "No". |
| Mismanagement | The group of folks who try to manage the hash, hence the name. Mismanagement is made up of the Grand Masters, Joint Masters, Hash Cash, Religious Advisor and On-sec. |
| Mother Hash | The mother hash is based in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Your mother hash is where you started hashing. |
| New boot | A virgin to the hash. Also, any person who wears new shoes to the hash. In both cases, the hasher has to down a beer in the circle, the one with new shoes does it out of one of the shoes. |
| On Call | When you hear someone else calling, "On On" and you do not see the mark yourself yell, "On Call". |
| On In | When you're running trail and you see the end of the trail or the On Home then you yell, "On In". Most hashers will start running a bit faster knowing that the beer is near. |
| On On | What every good hasher should yell whenever the see a plop of flour on the ground. Also, the hallowed ground where the running ends and the drinking begins. |
| On On On | Also, On After. The party after the On On where we drink heavily and frolic with the locals at their favorite drinking holes. |
| On-Sec | The person who writes the hash trash and informs the hash of upcoming events in other parts of the hash world. |
| OTR | On the Rag Hash. Once a month some of the Harrierettes get together and lay a trail without the men. They usually meet of the the PC at the On On On. Slogan: A bunch of bloody good runners, period. |
| PC | When the women are on the rag, the men have pelvic congestion. Once a month, the more insane of the men get together to run a very long, tough trail. Those that survive meet the OTR at the On On On. Slogan: It's long, it's hard and no woman can take it all. |
| Racing | Racing is something that hashers do not do, at least not when someone is watching. If fact, if you race and are caught, you will be forced to do a down down, usually on your knees. Remember the Hash slogan: A drinking club with a running problem. |
| Reboot | Any hasher that has been absent for too long must explain themselves and do a down down. |
| Religious Advisor | The self-righteous leader of down downs. Usually a drunken loudmouth who is forced into being the religious leader of our group for a year. |
| Shag Bag | Your most prized personal possession at the hash, it contains all of your dry clothes and ceremonial hash wear. If you are lucky it will be at the end when you get there and if you're really lucky no one will have spilt beer all over it. |
| Shag Wagon | The vehicle that you put your shag bag in so that it will be delivered to the end of the trail. |
| SCB | Short Cutting Bastard. Any person that takes a chance on finding the beer sooner by shortcutting trail. These people very often become DFLs. |
| Shiggy | Any nasty, disgusting terrain that most sane people will avoid, mud, briars, swamps, bayous, etc. Hashers love it. |
Hints on Laying Trails
First of all there are no rules in the Hash, simply hints and one strong suggestion: Have beer ready when the hasher reach the end. In Houston, we prefer that all runs stay in the inner loop and that they stay on the neighborhood streets. NOT!!!
Location: It doesn't matter where you start your run, just remember the further away you make it the fewer people will show. A good rule of thumb is to keep your start less that 30 minutes away from the 610 loop. It's also a good idea to check with the hares of runs in the same time period to make sure you won't be starting in the same area.
Parking: Just make sure that your start is easy to find and that there is plenty of parking. If you park on private property, get permission. It's usually easy to get permission.
Distance: Approximately four miles is a great distance for a Hash. The typical hasher will finish in about an hour. A good test for time is to walk when you lay trail, in most cases it will take you twice as long to walk the trail as it will take hashers to run it.
Water: On a hot day, provide water at least every 30 minutes on trail and at the start and plenty at the end.
Beer: Provide plenty of beer. A good rule of thumb is 1 keg for every 45 people. When you plan your hash, ask Geek about the number of people that will show and plan accordingly. Also, check for conflicting events and weather.
Food: Always provide snacks at the end of the hash. The type and amount is up to you. If you want to provide a meal, just remember that it may cost you. Also, don't forget to provide sodas, NA beer and water for those who do not drink beer.
Money: Hashers pay 5 bucks per hash. When you set up the run, you are responsible for paying for everything. Keep your receipts and you will be reimbursed up to 4 dollars for each hash on the night of the run. If you are too extravagant or have a bad showing, you have to take the loss. With good planning, you should never loose money. Any extra money, including the extra dollar per hasher goes into the treasury of major events and expenses, such as the hash line.
On On On: Find a place to go after the run. Most of the time 30 to 50 percent of the pack will go to the on on on. Announce it early if you can.
Laying Trail: If you've never laid trail, get help. Many experienced hashers would be glad to help a virgin hare. There's nothing hard about laying trail. Just remember, use plenty of flour (about 5 lbs per mile) and don't try to be too tricky. Also, try to keep the marks as visible as possible, use toilet paper in tall grass or weeds.
Publicity: Tell everyone about your trail. It's in your interest to have a big turnout. Also, call the hash line early in the week, so the directions can be worked out.
Note: There is an inverse relationship between the length of the trail and how long hashers stay upon concluding the trail. If you plan for an extravagant on on or on on on, make the trail shorter than average.