This post is going to be a little serious, as I order my thoughts. So bear with me or move on, as you wish.
People sometimes ask me if I am religious. I usually reply, "No, but I consider myself spiritual." By that, I mean that I claim to be of no organized religion, but I believe in a Higher Power, God, the Creator. I believe that there are such things as right and wrong, but that it isn't always what an organized religion says it is. I'm not a big fan of organized religion. I know it helps many, both in the past and present. But it has also been terribly abused in the past for personal gain and for that reason I cannot help but view with suspicion whenever some aspect of its teaching seems less out of concern for our well-being and more out of self-interest.
Earlier today some friends were talking about Christianity. However, the discussion quickly swerved towards the afterlife. According to many religions those of other faiths, the non-believers if you will, won't be saved and/or will suffer in the afterlife. After one, a devout Christian, explained her understanding of who would and wouldn't be in Heaven and why, I spoke up.
In my life I've met many people, of different religions, cultures, and character. Many of them have been good people, people who I admire. Some are Christians, others Muslim or Mormon. Charitable people. People who exemplify many human morals, many shared by several religions. Good people. And I can't help but wonder if God would really consign these people to suffer in eternity. And if he would do so simply because they did not acknowledge or did not know some "requirement". If so, I concluded with some anguish, that would not be a God I would wish to believe in.
My devout friend had tears in her eyes for a moment when I said that. Whether for me or not, I am not sure. I only know I did not intend for them, and I hope I caused her no lasting pain. She mentioned that she had asked herself the very same questions, but in the end found herself believing all the same. The discussion then briefly touched on whether religion is necessary as a basis for morals, but many seemed uncomfortable and we separated to return to our work.
I reflected more about it on the drive home. (It's a 15 minute drive, otherwise I might be a great philosopher or theologian instead of merely an amateur.)
I believe in God, and I believe that God is good. I believe that humans are flawed, despite our best intentions. I believe that God would not punish those who live their lives caring for others. Who treat others with compassion. In short, I don't believe they would suffer in eternity, because the God I believe in would not be so cruel.
But I also believe that organized religion, centuries ago, when they helped craft social and political order, wanted to convert new people and keep believers believing. What better way than to tell them, "if you don't believe you'll suffer for it". Sometimes this was with blood, but usually they meant in the afterlife. Why would I suggest something so terrible? That a religious leader might knowingly and falsely proclaim directives as the will of God? I feel that organized religion, despite good intentions, is in the end run and managed by humans. We're not perfect. Sooner or later, one of us comes along who milks the system. Who abuses it. Who sees that an increase in the numbers of the faithful will translate into policital, military, or economic power for the leaders.
When I read things in the Bible such as "I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man", I think this might be an example of humans in interpreting the Word of God to suit their own goals. I don't take it literally (which my wife probably appreciates). In fact, I rarely take anything from organized religion literally. Despite good intentions of some, I cannot tell how much is really meant to help us live better lives and how much of it was someone's personal slant on how they think we should live our lives. I would like to believe the Bible is an unbiased document to enlighten us, but I cannot knowing that it has been written and rewritten several times by others. Each with their own agenda, some laudable and some not.
I would like to read original translations of the works that form the basis for organized religions, but even those might be questionable due to the social and political pressures of the period.
Instead, I read and reflect. I do not claim to be perfect, but I won't stop trying to improve myself either. To examine what the authors of the Bible, and other works, meant for us to learn. All the while, I ask myself whether the lessons they teach are in my self-interest... or theirs alone.
Sometimes I wish I had a better opinion of human nature. That I wouldn't feel the need to question religious texts. These texts that should be held in the highest regard as some of the greatest works on the planet for all people to learn from. Instead, we often chose one to live by and discard the others. Sometimes because we believe with great certainty that this one is right and the others are not. Other times, I fear, because someone tells us to.
